Some people say I’m sweet~ Well, I’m not sure if I am or not but I know, like any other, I’m trying.
I had to counsel a co-worker this afternoon and on my way home I found myself running over, in my mind, all of the things I could’ve said to her but didn’t because I didn’t even think of them… I wondered what happened to me in this circumstance when at times I surprise myself, hearing amazing, thought-provoking words flowing off my tongue that are likely from a higher source other than me. However, this time I could kick myself because I didn’t do my best. I faltered badly in front of someone who needed me though I didn’t do this intentionally.
** The problem is I feel more than I know what to say. **
The words somehow get stuck or don’t come to mind because I’m feeling for the person, wondering how I can assist them to feel better. It’s later that I run through all of the sentences and paragraphs of wise knowledge I should’ve imparted to them. Then I feel inadequate, wonder if I should set up another meeting with them so I can impart all these wise tidbits, maybe even write them on a sheet of paper so I can remember them later when I’m sitting face to face with them again and in “duh” mode. I also ask myself why did I not think of these things when I was face to face with them and… I have no answer. I have no idea why but I feel like I did them a disservice and if they had this information maybe they’d be empowered to make better choices.
And the word Empath comes to mind. A word I’ve Googled countless times but am not sure if it really fits me. A word that doesn’t seem too empowering and I may not want to be labeled as. A single word that seems people who fit into this category have been dealt the ‘short straw’ so to speak. They feel too much and that it’s a bad thing because you have to protect yourself and do some type of rituals to’wash off the energies’ of others, all the time to be safe. A word that makes me feel like a doormat for others’ problems.
I’ve always considered myself strong and capable. Able to take on anything and survive. A Superwoman of sorts. But this single word Empath doesn’t hold those same traits.
I can only hope that part of what I said to my co-worker made sense and that I got through. I hope that this beautiful, generous, kind and loving woman who doesn’t see herself in that way anymore and struggles with her own personal experiences realizes what a true treasure she is and that maybe, just maybe, despite my “empathic” ways becomes stronger, more confident and courageous. Sadly, there aren’t many like her in this world and if there’s anything any of us ’empaths’ can do to help these wonderful souls through this challenging world, it is our duty to assist them to their highest good and greatest potential. All we can do is try.
TK Lawyer 