TK Lawyer

After more than a week of re-playing scenes from a grave injustice, in my brain, I am finally at the stage where I am learning to let go of this situation so that I can move on and be happy again.

It’s amazing to me how people can walk around hurting others and not caring.  No acknowledgment that the situation even occurred, no apologies, but lots of pretending.  This person who hurt me has injured me twice.  The first time she told me to my face that I’m not a good supervisor then ran out of her office crying saying, “This is a horrible place, a horrible place.”  The second time she went above my head to inquire if what I was trying to implement was endorsed by Headquarters.  In a company where each unit’s supervisor should be able to make decisions and implement what is best for their unit, this staff member decided to report what I was trying to do in good faith rather then to come to me and talk about it.  This, after she volunteered to assist with the implementation of my endeavor.  Amazing!  A snake in the grass waiting to attack?  Yes, wholeheartedly yes.  And I didn’t see it coming.  When she could’ve come to me after agreeing with what I stated to tell me she didn’t agree anymore and we could’ve worked it out, instead she went beyond me to do what?  I’m not sure.  Some say she was trying to get me formally written up while others say she was trying to get me into trouble. Well, neither happened and my boss was encouraging and on my side but because of a slight technicality, this staff member got her way and now she walks around the office like nothing ever occurred.

I’ve always felt if you do something, even if it’s negative and especially if you hurt someone as a result of your actions, you should own up to it, go to that person, explain your reasons for doing what you did and if you have to, take the blame because people are precious and relationships with people are even more so.  Why would you burn your bridges when you have to work with the same team members, day after day?  It doesn’t make any sense to me to make enemies of those you rely on for support.  I now know several things about this co-worker I didn’t know before:  she has a big ego (that needs stroking all the time), she doesn’t have my back ever, she has limited insight into her own faults, and she is not a team player though she blames everyone else for not being part of a team.

Unfortunately, there are a lot of people in this world that are exactly like my co-worker.  They portray themselves as funny and kind on the outside, a charlatan of sorts acting a part in a theatrical play with little to no sincerity.  These people are fun in social, group settings but very immature underneath it all.  When they don’t get their way- look out- they spring to attack and sadly, they have no integrity, so they will never own up to what they did.

I believe these types of people are put in our path for us to learn lessons though I still don’t understand why we need to learn lessons.  Maybe one day I will comprehend the bigger picture.  But I do know we would never learn anything if these people didn’t exist.  So, instead of getting angry, letting bitterness and resentment and even confusion over their actions settle in so that we are uncomfortable ever day and robbed of joy, we need to let go and forgive.  I was reminded of this fact this morning when my friend and guru Michael chatted with me.  I have undergone such tension this past week wondering the reason why this staff member would feel the need to attack me when I try to be a loving, kind, flexible Supervisor.  There was no need for her to take her ‘complaint’ beyond me and I still don’t understand her reasoning.  But it’s not for me to understand.  The deed is done.  Nothing bad happened to me and I need to move forward and let go.  Michael reminds me if your actions stem from a source of kindness, love, generosity- if you have good intentions, no bad will ever come from it.  You may have a temporary low period but positive always bring positive.

It is time to “Enter Love” as Michael puts it.  To be well and happy again because even though I don’t have the support of this staff member, I do have the support of so many more, including my wonderful friends and family.  When you are slighted, take yourself out of the narrowed viewpoint and remind yourself of all that you truly have.  You are blessed and you have wondrous support though you may not see it at the time because your emotions are bogging you down.

You deserve happiness.  Don’t let someone’s ill-advised, mean-spirited actions rob you of the joy of living.  We are only here a short time so make the most of each day with those who love and support you because you deserve the best!  Forgive, because you refuse to wallow in misery trying to understand the intention of why someone hurt you.  It’s not worth your time and energy and you have better, happier things to concentrate on.

I wish you many blessings and happiness always!  ***