TK Lawyer

Have you ever wanted to scream and shout?

Me?

Yes.

Quite frequently nowadays.

As a part-time caregiver on top of all my other duties:  full-time day job, part-time book business/marketer/promoter, wife and dog mom, there are days I just want to vent my frustration over the decisions my dad makes.  You see, he fell yesterday in his home and today he was supposed to see a Physical Therapist but he doesn’t want to.  He stated to me, by phone, that if this shortens his life, so be it.  That he will live a happier albeit shorter life, then.  Wow.  Talk about selfish.  But there’s nothing I can do about it because it’s his life, not mine and his decisions are his decisions…but do you have to tell me this 2 years after my mom passed away?  Granted, he’s said worse to me in the past two years- words even my husband remembers and wishes my dad didn’t speak.  No one should ever hear from a parent or relative that “all bets are off if I go to a nursing home.”  This on top of my additional duties at work is what I put up with on a week to week basis.

And my dad and I were never close~ but here I am, taking care of him because mom is not here anymore to do so.

Upon coming home, I think about writing him into my current book and I wonder what the Angel would say to the female protagonist when she talks about her dad.  I think about this for a while, discussing my latest idea with my friend Michael, throwing in that maybe she’s like me and gaining weight rapidly with all the stress that befell her, suddenly, all at once when my friend Michael says to me:

“No amount of chocolate will amend your dad’s situation.”

Startled, I stopped in my tracks and thought about what he said to me; then I nodded my head.  As usual, he’s right.

I am eating chocolate every day and steadily gaining weight when at one point I was actually eating healthier and losing weight.   With all the craziness and impossible demands I’m juggling now, topped off with the added stress of my dad’s failing health, I find myself dipping into the candy jar a lot more often than I should.  However; Michael’s right.  Eating chocolate will not help or change my dad’s situation but, eventually, it will change mine.  No amount of stress eating will help my dad and it won’t help me either.  I have to find another way to deal with the situation I have been handed.  What is the best solution for me?  I don’t know but I am willing to find out.

Take care my friends and thanks for reading.  Enjoy your day!

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