Empath?

Some people say I’m sweet~  Well, I’m not sure if I am or not but I know, like any other, I’m trying.

I had to counsel a co-worker this afternoon and on my way home I found myself running over, in my mind, all of the things I could’ve said to her but didn’t because I didn’t even think of them…  I wondered what happened to me in this circumstance when at times I surprise myself, hearing amazing, thought-provoking words flowing off my tongue that are likely from a higher source other than me.  However, this time I could kick myself because I didn’t do my best.  I faltered badly in front of someone who needed me though I didn’t do this intentionally.

** The problem is I feel more than I know what to say.  **

The words somehow get stuck or don’t come to mind because I’m feeling for the person, wondering how I can assist them to feel better.  It’s later that I run through all of the sentences and paragraphs of wise knowledge I should’ve imparted to them.  Then I feel inadequate, wonder if I should set up another meeting with them so I can impart all these wise tidbits, maybe even write them on a sheet of paper so I can remember them later when I’m sitting face to face with them again and in “duh” mode.  I also ask myself why did I not think of these things when I was face to face with them and… I have no answer.  I have no idea why but I feel like I did them a disservice and if they had this information maybe they’d be empowered to make better choices.

And the word Empath comes to mind.  A word I’ve Googled countless times but am not sure if it really fits me.  A word that doesn’t seem too empowering and I may not want to be labeled as.  A single word that seems people who fit into this category have been dealt the ‘short straw’ so to speak.  They feel too much and that it’s a bad thing because you have to protect yourself and do some type of rituals to’wash off the energies’ of others, all the time to be safe.  A word that makes me feel like a doormat for others’ problems.

I’ve always considered myself strong and capable.  Able to take on anything and survive.  A Superwoman of sorts.  But this single word Empath doesn’t hold those same traits.

I can only hope that part of what I said to my co-worker made sense and that I got through.  I hope that this beautiful, generous, kind and loving woman who doesn’t see herself in that way anymore and struggles with her own personal experiences realizes what a true treasure she is and that maybe, just maybe, despite my “empathic” ways becomes stronger, more confident and courageous.  Sadly, there aren’t many like her in this world and if there’s anything any of us ’empaths’ can do to help these wonderful souls through this challenging world, it is our duty to assist them to their highest good and greatest potential.  All we can do is try.

 

 

Lust…and why it’s not a good thing for an author

What do you think of when you hear the word lust?  Yeah, I know, I know, but is there another definition besides sexual?  You would be surprised to know there is.  And that’s where it can get you in trouble.

According to http://www.merriam-webster.com/    Lust is defined as:

  • a strong feeling of sexual desire

But it is also defined as:

  • a strong desire for something
  • personal inclination :  wish

And the kicker for authors:

–  – an intense longing :  craving <a lust to succeed>
As an unknown author, this last part can do you in, literally, making a sweet, naïve, wanna-be into an obsessive, desperate extremist.  It can occupy your time to the point that you are checking your Facebook notifications several times a day to find out if people are liking and viewing your book trailer or saying something about your books and doing the same with Amazon to check if anyone has purchased your book yet and if there are any new reviews.
Lust for success can turn your positive energy and efforts into a endless black hole of obsession and nasty self talk which will not only hurt your self esteem but also your inner creative spirit that, if left alone and nourished, would flow and grow into something really beautiful.
As authors, we do want to “make it big.”  That’s one of the reasons we may have entered into the profession to begin with- so we can eventually become a full time author, engaging daily in what we love most and injecting back positive energy into the world. But let’s sit back and think for a minute.  Ask yourself this question.  If there was no money in it, would you still want to write?  How about if there was never a possibility of you becoming famous, would you write then?
If you can say “yes” to both then you are truly a writer and you must not give up because this is your passion and your true calling.  You have something to say and contribute, so go do it!  We will likely be better for it.
Writing shouldn’t be centered around being famous.  It should be about expressing who we truly are inside.  It should be about bringing forth our creative ideas and/or experiences whether we inspire others or not.
It’s about being true to yourself.
So for all the writers out there, who strive to express themselves every day, I applaud you.  Keep doing what you’re doing and don’t worry about success because by doing what you love, whether it be part-time, or full time, you are a success.  Just
enjoy the journey wherever it takes you and may it take you to financial success at the perfect time when you are ready for it.
Take care, my friends.

Strength- when your world is falling apart

A beautiful woman told me yesterday I am strong and it got me thinking about strength and how the definition of the word differs per person.  Strength can be so many things.

Wikipedia divides strength into 2 categories:  physical and character strength.  The strength I’m talking about is the latter- strength of character.

It’s funny how you find your strength through tough, difficult times.  And sometimes in life, like mine currently, one negative becomes a domino effect leading to other negatives but when you sit back and look at it, objectively, you see the truth- that it’s all a process of life though, unfortunately, it’s hitting you all at once.

Strength, for me, is continuing to live your life, caring for others despite all the pain welled up in side of you.  It’s leading a unit of employees, setting an example with compassion and love for them and their situations despite your own.  It’s trying to make sense out of your own situation but not in a way that it burdens others around you.  It’s leaning on others when you need support so that you can, in turn, help others when they need you.  It’s forming or renewing partnerships so that you can be stronger.  (Thank you, Michael).

It’s finding some kind of positive(s) to hang onto to strengthen you to move forward.  Sometimes, especially at the beginning, strength can be as little as the energy to get out of bed which you build on to do more the next day.

But most of all, strength is not numbness, it’s not shying away from the tragedies or life occurrences that are happening around you.  It is the embracing of your situation melded with the perseverance and the  confidence to stand up when your word is falling apart, crumbling around you.

Be well and be strong, my friends.

What is a hero?

I have been hearing the word, “hero” quite a lot in the last couple of weeks.  After going to several websites and even perusing the dictionary to find the true definition of this sometimes confusing and even daunting word, I found a few similarities.

A hero seems to be someone who:

  1. Is altruistic- helping someone in need without seeking to reap any type of benefit in return
  2. Is someone who helps someone whether that person requests it or not or even if that person doesn’t know they need help and is struggling to find their own solution
  3. Is an ‘act of generosity’ that does not have to be stellar in impact.  It can be a simple act of kindness to someone.
  4. Can be anyone.  The “hero” does not have to be a celebrity, anyone famous or even a human being.

I think everyone, at some point in their life, needs a hero.  A hero is a champion among people, someone you can look up to and respect and, reportedly, someone some try to emulate.  Everyone loves a hero and often, these types of characters are found in books but it’s not unusual to find them in life, too.

The experience of a ‘hero’ doesn’t have to occur just once in your life.  As life pushes you onward and the years pass by, one may find they have had several heroes in their life.  Some heroes pass through only once in your life, usually for a one-time reason, while others may linger around for a while.  Exceptional heroes last a lifetime.  A hero can be a relative, a stranger, a friend, a higher power and even an angel.  Sometimes, it can even be your pet.

Sadly, some heroes don’t receive our praise.

Heroes come in all shapes and sizes but it’s a fact that we need them in our lives.  We need them to smooth out the rough road we travel and to make things a bit brighter and easier along the way.  So, for all the heroes- the known and the unknown- we thank you, deeply from our hearts, for all that you do and all that you are.  May you continue to be loved, blessed, and supported as you spread hope and encouragement throughout the world.  We need you!