31 Jul 2020 Leave a comment
in Advice & Inspiration Tags: self help, self improvement, thoughts, TK Lawyer
Whatever happened yesterday, let it go.
Today is a new beginning.
A fresh start.
An opportunity to do what you want to do.
Dream big, start small
And make those goals happen
For today is a new beginning
And you deserve this opportunity! xoxox
Take care of yourselves and stay safe!
14 Jul 2020 1 Comment
in Advice & Inspiration Tags: notes, self help, self improvement, thoughts, TK Lawyer
One little word can mean so many different things.
When an angel says it, it means *stop*, no more, refocus.
Maybe your unique, fun product was stolen- the person who stole it lied to your face and claimed it was theirs.
Maybe your efforts are going unnoticed and you are being undervalued.
Maybe all of this is tearing at your sense of self worth and it’s not worth it to continue.
Maybe breaking away is the best thing for you and your accountability.
Maybe i’ts time for a change. A different perspective. A fresh start.
Ahhh. Change is the unknown but change can afford freedom.
Grab the brass ring and make a change in your life today… for the better.
28 Dec 2017 Leave a comment
in Advice & Inspiration Tags: advice, entertainment, health, ideas, inspiration, life, motivation, new age, reflections, self help, self improvement, spirituality, thoughts, tips
Sometimes, when we are striving to reach our goals, we forget how very much we have in our lives. We start taking them for granted, feeling we don’t have enough because we want so much more. As an author, we might even compare ourselves with others, colleagues who have hit the big leagues, have titles we covet like “best-selling author”, a book that is a best seller or a book that is in the top 100’s when ours are teetering in the millions.
I want so much more in life and even more with my book business but it seems the struggle continues. I try and try but success seems so far away and I wonder if I will ever obtain it. The more I try, the more success seems to be out of my grasp, not even close enough to slip through my fingers. I don’t want to envy writers with fancy titles but I do sometimes and I wish I knew the secret to own one of those glorious titles because I have no idea how they became successful when I am still here, struggling and trying to remain positive among a sea of unknowns.
So in light of my own personal struggles with: juggling my caretaker responsibilities, my full-time day job that has lost its luster and passion for me, and my book business that most days seems to harbor on the back-burner anymore, I somehow lost sight of all the wonderful stuff and people I do have in my life and I was reminded about this fact, last night.
While staring up at the beautiful lights and ornaments of my Christmas tree, my special friend Michael reminded me to appreciate all that I have. He has been asking me to open my heart, which I did not know was in bad need of damage repair. Instead of love, anxiety and fear crept in. They have riddled my days, for quite a long while now, and I did not know. I didn’t realize, in this season of light and love, how far removed I was.
I am one that advises and encourage others any chance I can get. I help my fellow authors and author friends anytime I can and I work tirelessly to uplift others, even if it means spending hours messaging or talking with a friend so that they can feel better after our conversation. However, have I taken my own advice? Well… no. I encourage and cheer others but I haven’t done the same for myself. The problem is I expect so much out of life and out of myself and I want it Now. And because I haven’t received it and I see others successful when I am failing to achieve my goals, I have essentially forgotten to take care of myself.
I learned so many things yesterday but what I didn’t realize was that we can get caught up in our wants and desires and neglect ourselves in the process- and not even know it.
We need to take care of ourselves first because if we are not in the right frame of mind, we will accomplish nothing.
This is a reminder to look at your own lives and discover all that you have. I have seen several with no home when I have a comfortable one, begging for food when I am not lacking. I have an amazing dog and am fortunate enough to have found my life partner who is also my best friend. These are only a few of the many blessings that I, personally, have and I know you have a list too. During this upcoming New Year, write your list down and reflect upon it, knowing you are starting the New Year on a very good note. And may you receive many more blessing throughout 2018!
23 Aug 2017 Leave a comment
in My own thoughts Tags: advice, grief, grieving, inspiration, life, loss, new age, self help, self improvement, spirituality
Tonight I learned that everyone grieves differently. I probably already knew this but when faced with a short discussion with my dad I realized he and I deal with my mom’s death differently.
My husband and I have had lengthy conversations about what will happen if he passes away before me (hopefully this doesn’t happen). He knows that I will be “getting rid of all his stuff” immediately, giving it away to charity or something. I let him know this is not because I don’t love him or that I’m trying to get rid of him. Oh no. I love him so much. But this is how I handle grief.
My mom passed away a little over two years ago though it seems like an eternity to me. She understood me like no other ever has. She was my best friend, my biggest fan and my strongest confidante. She was my rock and I miss her dearly. And how do I deal with her death? By ignoring it. Yup. That is the only way I stay sane and that is the only way I can go on and survive living while she is up in heaven having fun without me. I try not to think of her because thinking of her only brings tears and misery and I can’t go to work, on a daily basis, to help people if I am a mess myself. So, this is my way to deal with the immense sadness of her loss in my life. One day, hopefully, I will be able to think of her and not tear up but until then, this is the way I cope. However; this is not the same for my dad~
My dad, who desperately needs to move into a first floor apartment because of his declining health, said to me today, that he can’t move into a smaller place because that would mean he would have to get rid of things and he can’t give up my mom’s stuff. He said that and then he cried. You see, my dad never cries because he doesn’t believe in a man crying. While me, I feel differently. I think if you have an emotion, let it out. If you have to cry, do it. It’s natural and it’s human and you can’t keep these things bottled up or they’ll just resurface again, and again. He believes in prescriptions to pacify his inner turmoil while I believe prescriptions will only mask the inner pain- much like a band aid covering something temporarily. In the end it peels off with time and the pain is still there.
But I understand where my dad is coming from and I told him this. I am only trying to do what best for him but I get it. In the end, it’s his decision the way he wants to live his life. He chooses to live his life surrounded by objects my mom loved because it keeps her alive. Storing these items away would only sadden him and the last thing I want to do is add more pain to his overflowing cup.
So, I guess the lesson is to love everyone while they are here. Life is so short. Appreciate those close to you for you never know what tomorrow might bring. And, to try to understand when people do things differently than you would in the event of one’s passing. Some create items to remind them of their loved ones, some need to have stuff owned by their loved ones around them while others, like me, can’t have the constant reminders surrounding them. Everyone grieves differently but in the end, we are all trying to do the same thing: survive this life to get to the other.
29 Jun 2017 Leave a comment
in Advice & Inspiration Tags: advice, entertainment, health, inspiration, life, Lionel Richie, motivation, music, new age, personal interest, self improvement, spirituality, thoughts, TK Lawyer
Do you know I have my own, personal, musical DJ?
Well, yes I do. Plus we have an uniquely, amazing relationship and I am so thankful.
I’ve mentioned my friend Michael several times before but I’ve never disclosed the little, thoughtful things he does for me, like sending me the right song at just the right time.
Today, I was searching for a song that he sent me lyrics from a few days ago. I scrolled through the lyrics of the song because sometimes the specific song lines he refers to are not the true message but there’s something further and it takes a bit of research to find out what he specifically wants me to see. I smiled throughout the song lyrics, reading each line until I got to the end and read a short paragraph. The meaning hit me immediately and I was overwhelmed with tears.
You see, life has been a bit of a struggle recently for me but I’ve been trying to be brave, be on top of things, be organized and a help to others while still displaying a smile, and trying to see the comical side of things, when surrounded by negativity. However, I feel it’s taking its toll and I am slowly drowning in assignments at my day job, trying each day to just stay afloat as new forms, new assignments and demands from customers come at me faster than lighting. With my weekends slipping by quicker than anything due to my additional, seemingly endless caretaker responsibilities, there are days I just want to lie on my couch and do nothing. I know I need a break, possibly a vacation, but my husband reminds me all the time of our financial juggle so here I am, instead of being on a cruise or somewhere lost in the adventurous wilds of Canada or Montana, toiling at my day job, every day, trying to do the best that I can with what I have.
So when I’m reading the lyrics from a song by Lionel Richie, I break down and think about going home because I don’t want anyone to see me vulnerable.
The song is about partnership and the lines flow easily.
“As we go down
Life’s lonesome highway
Seems the hardest thing to do
Is to find a friend or two..”
Yes, that’s what Michael is for me. A friend who has always been there and has never forsaken me. Even though I’ve turned away from him many times, he has always brought me back, tried to uplift my spirits, and tried to impart snippets of his simple, easy wisdom.
I read further “Well the whole world’s got you dancing.” Yeah, you’re right, Michael. I feel like I can’t stop spinning and I am being tugged in several directions with everyone’s requirements of me.
And then the next lines hit me: “That’s right, I’m telling you it’s time to start believing.” Okay. I know I have little faith and he reminds me all of the time of the need for it.
And then the crusher: “Believing who you are, you are a shining star.” Wow. Here comes the water works. Michael believes in me. He loves me and he thinks I’m incredible even though he is the one who is truly amazing. “A shining star.” I just can’t explain to you why I broke down but I think I needed the pat on the back, the encouragement but more so, the confirmation that I am a good person and I’m working hard- maybe too hard- that amidst all the drudgery and the glum and that, in addition to my pile of responsibilities, I am being tasked to deal on a day to day basis with a black hearted, cold, calculating staff member that, despite her misery, will never leave employment, I am a shining star. There are no other words. It’s just beautiful.
And so today, I am passing on the message to you. When life gets you down or deals you a raw deal (as in the miserable co-worker that I must deal with for the next, God knows how long length of time she expects to be employed) that you, too, are a shining star. Rise above it and realize your worth. You are Amazing!
So, to quote more of the song, “that when you feel you lost your way, you’ve got someone here to say, I’ll show you.” I’m here to tell you how wonderful you are. Don’t let anyone stop you from being you. You continue being the beautiful, wondrous miracle you are despite the adversity you encounter. You are loved and you are worth it. And as a picture in my office states, “Never let anyone dull your Sparkle.”
15 Jun 2017 3 Comments
in Advice & Inspiration Tags: advice, entertainment, health, inspiration, life, motivation, new age, personal interest, self improvement, spirituality, thoughts, tips, TK Lawyer
Hi Readers,
Do you know that we make choices every day? These choices not only affect our life and which way we go on our path in life but they also affect our perceptions and, eventually, our health and well-being. My friend, Michael, explains it like a map of intersecting, interacting choices: one leads to another and to another and depending on the specific choice made, it opens up other areas and leads on to other decisions to make. It’s amazing and complex and a little hard to understand but everything we do has a reaction and all our decisions are interwoven into this very large, stringy ball of electrical twine, so to speak, when you see the whole picture.
All of our decisions affect others and these choices thread our life. Knowing this and being aware of how short life is, does it really make sense to hold onto grudges or to be unhappy, in any way?
I ask this because this morning, a co-worker, who seems to think I harmed her in some way, couldn’t even spend a few seconds in the break room by me while I was getting my second cup of coffee. This really surprised and perplexed me to the point of writing this blog. I think sometimes people lose sight of the overall, big picture. So, you happen to dislike me- okay- but do you need it to affect your 40 hour work week? As we know, we spend a majority or our lives at our jobs so do we really need to let such trivial matters, perceptions and judgments cloud how we act and react?
I think it’s interesting how this co-worker thinks she’s done nothing wrong to change the nature of our relationship and blames it all on me when she was the one who actually attacked me, twice. Despite this, I still like who she essentially is- a human being trying to get through this life, like the rest of us. The fact that I don’t want to work with her has nothing to do with how I feel she is, as a person outside of work, and even though I prefer not to be in the same area as her in the office because I feel she is always judging me, ready to document everything I do for a negative purpose, I was able to spend the few seconds in the break room while she scrambled to get away. How crazy.
Is it really worth it to get upset over trivial things when the greater cost could be your peace of mind and possibly, eventually, your health? One thing leads to another and it can be a negative snowball effect heading in the wrong direction for you just because you are upset, and choose to remain upset, at a particular person. You can’t change them but you can change how you perceive the “injustice” rendered to you and how you react to it. We’ve heard this before, again and again, but how many of us actually implement this sound advice into our lives? It’s hard to do, especially when you feel justified in your anger, but for your own peace of mind, it’s best to let it go and move on with a happier outlook. Getting hung up on trivialities will not help you when the major life circumstances happen, because they will happen. If you can’t let go of something silly and meaningless, how are you going to deal with real life barriers that are going to force you to change and adapt so you can move forward?
You choose how you live your life.
Let go of grudges, judgments and negativity and choose happiness, instead. In the end, does it really matter? Ask yourself this question and most of the time you will find yourself saying “no.” If it doesn’t matter, Let It Go. Navigating through life is struggle enough. Do you really need to add to your burden? Be happy and be well. You deserve it!
22 May 2017 Leave a comment
in Advice & Inspiration Tags: advice, entertainment, inspiration, life, motivation, new age, self improvement, spirituality, thoughts, TK Lawyer
This morning, I was at my Doctor’s office for two appointments. As I finished one up and chatted with the receptionist, I waited a bit for my other to show. Twenty-five minutes later I was ushered into the Specialist’s office and we had a good talk- upbeat, uplifting with plenty of advice. She ushered me back to the receptionist desk who said I was cleared to go but then turned to the Specialist and complimented me aloud on my progress.
I was pleasantly surprised to hear the receptionist’s opinion of me. She said to the specialist, “She’s so cute” stating how my first day in their office I was determined to make a difference and to do something about my situation. She was proud of me. I entered the discussion and became lively and animated in the middle of it. I saw the receptionist turn to the specialist with a nod and a knowing smile. It made me feel good that my few visits (there’s only been three) to the Doctor’s office made an impression on her. Until this point I was unaware that she knew who I even was.
It’s funny how our few, brief contacts can make an impact we never knew existed. Granted, I liked the receptionist and we always laughed together about little things but I didn’t realize she had a high regard for me until today. For me, I always try to be nice to people who help “serve” me in some capacity. Whether it be complimenting the person behind the counter for something lovely they are wearing or for how they wore their hair that day to the bigger task of striking up a conversation, I like making people feel better than when I first met them. I try to do this as much as I can, barring my own mood and time constraints and I do this because I generally like people. But today was a reminder, not only for me but for all of us, that we make an impact with every contact we make but might not realize it.
** With every person we come in contact with, we can choose to spread joy or unhappiness so why not take a step in making the Earth a happier place and choose to spread love, joy and peace instead of the latter. **
Those in the service industry or helping professions are often disregarded or taken for granted. It’s not often they are recognized or even rewarded for the essential service they do, sometimes barely making an income to support themselves or their family. Take a minute today to make a greater impact and thank someone or compliment them. Your one generous comment will snowball into several more, adding good cheer to strangers you may never meet.
Sometimes, all it takes is a few loving words to turn someone’s day around for the better.
Take care, my friends.
11 May 2017 Leave a comment
in Advice & Inspiration Tags: advice, entertainment, inspiration, life, motivation, new age, self improvement, spirituality, thoughts, tips, TK Lawyer
Hi Readers,
You know that one person you have at work? That one that can make your work life miserable?
If you’re a boss or a supervisor, I’m sure you know what I mean. You try and try to get a good team together, one that works well and in harmony- one that fits neatly into a well-oiled, teambuilding, efficient superpower machine but you have that one cog that does not want to work with the others. That one piece of the puzzle that doesn’t want to fit in with the group or the team, unless it’s on their own terms or within their own self-determined standards. That one that would rather take notes about you, documenting every incident, keeping an eye on all your breaks and lunches to find a way to backstab you, the Supervisor, instead of fitting in and relishing in the extra freedoms the Supervisor provides to everyone in the unit.
That one misfit within the company that wants to blame everyone else for their misfortunes instead of seeing that they, themselves, and their own personality tics might be the cause and the reason for their treatment within the unit and their twisted perceptions of their own sad situation. No one is untouchable or beyond reproach. Every one of us has something we can adjust in our lives or within our personality so that we can flow within a group of individuals with strikingly different personalities. No one is correct all the time or perfect but for some reason there is always that one among a group who feels that way. Who thinks that they are truly amazing, wonderful, a humanitarian but with an ego the size of the Universe. That one who does their job well but when you get down to the nitty gritty, when you actually see who this person truly is, you find that what they do is not because they truly care about the customers they work for but it’s all for the purpose of covering their own butt and to receive accolades from their customers.
Unfortunately, when you are the Supervisor, you have to deal with this person while avoiding their spiteful, malicious attacks on your character and trying to manage the others within your team, successfully. It is really hard to do and their nasty attitude can bring you down, especially when you are particularly stressed or having an off day but the one thing you must understand and realize is that this person will never change because they have no insight and that this person is the way they are with everyone (at least they are consistent) so it is not because of you, specifically that they are so rotten. They would act this way with anyone who is their supervisor. So, as hard as it is to do sometimes, you have to remind yourself to not take it personally. This is especially a hard lesson for me: a sensitive, loving, kind and gentle person who doesn’t understand malicious, manipulative, calculating people.
To this day I still do not understand why someone would choose to put that much effort or energy into, basically, negative endeavors.
I choose to live my life not worrying about negative things that happened in the past, not harboring bitterness or grief, taking one day at a time and one step at a time being as genuine, honest and as fair as I can be with everyone that I come in contact with. If something perceived as “bad” happens to me then there must be a reason for it or a lesson to learn in it and then I move on. I will overcome anything that happens and I don’t have to document little grievances (petty things like a co-worker or the Supervisor going over a few minutes in lunches or breaks) over years of my life to save my job. I don’t get it. I don’t understand this logic or thinking. And it’s a waste of energy and effort I can put forth elsewhere into a more positive outcome as in helping others along my path to become independent, self-sufficient and the best people they can be.
All I can come up with is, is that people like this are internally miserable and damaged somehow and they need help but don’t know it. Sadly, we have to deal with them in our day to day work life.
So, in the meantime, if you have someone like this in your own life, try to keep your chin up and smile because you deserve the best. Don’t let these petty little people get you down because it’s not worth your time or your energy to spend an extra second worrying about them and when their next sneak attack upon you will be.
In the end, they will never win despite whatever comes of their negative efforts.
** Continue to live your life with integrity, honesty and genuineness and you will have nothing to fear. Truth and light will always be on your side. You will always be the victor. **
Take care my friends and live your life according to your own truth.
Be your own best self!
10 Apr 2017 Leave a comment
in health Tags: advice, entertainment, health, inspiration, life, motivation, personal interest, self improvement, thoughts, tips, TK Lawyer, weight loss
“The greatest achievements started small.” Michael
Hi Readers,
Well, this week, despite my continued sinus infection and eating less than I have in a very long while, I actually gained a pound! I was not happy about this because I hardly eat anything throughout my days but I figure it’s just one of several setbacks I will encounter along my journey.
I have had very little energy to do much, including writing and editing my books and have seriously considered giving it all up but just when I thought about not writing anymore and leaving my Guardian League series hanging with only 3 out of the 5 intended books for the series published, my friend Michael steps in and tells me the above quote. I have had great freedom, coming home from my day job to do whatever I want to do instead of throwing myself online to promote my books, strategizing on how to sell more or chatting with my street team; however, I have to admit, I have felt something missing. Sadly, with this illness I have had very little extra energy to do much anymore.
However, for some reason, Michael doesn’t want me to quit. I think it’s because my books fuel my passion and vice-versa and he knows that my books are also an outlet for my passion and creativity. So, in the meantime while I am considering what to do about my author life and trying to feel better so I can be at my optimum, I am juggling with what to eat on a daily basis. Maintaining is better than gaining but I have so much more weight to lose that it’s hard not to consider this past week a setback. However, I am trying to keep a positive outlook on this situation and consider this past week a temporary, not permanent, glitch in my journey.
So, as I start another week on my journey, full of hope, my wish for you is that you, too, achieve great things this week. Even if you can only spare a few minutes each day, take some time to appreciate the wonderful person you are and do a little something to reward yourself for getting through this challenging life, on a day to day basis.
Take care and have a wonderful week!
TK Lawyer
https://www.amazon.com/T.K.-Lawyer/e/B00OXD3CR8
http://www.facebook.com/tklawyerauthor
03 Apr 2017 2 Comments
in health Tags: advice, entertainment, health, inspiration, life, motivation, personal interest, self help, self improvement, thoughts, tips, TK Lawyer, weight loss
Hi Readers,
Well, I am on to another week and still “sick as a dog” with this sinus infection turned into upper respiratory infection…. Good news is, I have my sense of taste back. Yeah! Not so good news is my appetite isn’t… though I think it’s slowly creeping back in. This last part, though, isn’t so bad after all because I know when my appetite does return, it’ll be harder to control my diet. For now, I am enjoying the freedom of not being so hungry and, as a result, being able to eat a bit more at my one big meal per day, which is really great!
So far I have lost a total of eighteen pounds. Yes, 18 people!! Isn’t that amazing? I am so proud of myself and what’s even more exciting is that I am able to fit into clothes that I haven’t been able to wear in years.
Yesterday, I pulled out all my thinner clothes and my hoard of dresses from a second closet I have in the house and I tried each one on. There were so many I didn’t even remember owning, but I now fit into. And the icing on the cake? I fit into a smaller size pant than I’m currently wearing. I can actually zip and button the pant but as I like to feel relaxed and comfortable, I’m going to wait a bit to lose a little more before I actually start wearing these pants on a regular basis. ~* But I am almost there and it’s a great feeling!
So, now that I’ve lost some weight, I’ve started buying some tops in the Ladies Department – oh yeah. Where once I had to walk all the way to the back of the store to find items in the Women’s Department in my size, I can now search through the racks up front for clothing. Amazing.
** I am only ten pounds away from reaching another milestone in my weight loss journey and I’ve been considering what to do once I hit that goal. I’d like to do something fun and memorable and right now I am in the process of considering ideas for rewards. It may be something as simple as a mani/pedi, getting my hair colored some subtle but outrageous color (I would love this) or maybe even tickets to an amusement park. Not sure yet but I do have a little ways to go before I have to decide what to do.
I realize because of the amount of weight I have to lose to get to my goal that this journey may take up to two years to complete but that’s okay. I am in it for the long haul and ~ hey, I have to live these two years anyway, right? So why not live it in a healthy way? Good health= happiness. That’s the formula. I’d rather live every day with choices available to me and living a healthy lifestyle affords you the opportunity to expand your choices.
So, here’s to another week. May it bless us both with amazing opportunities!
Be well and safe.
TK Lawyer 